Sunday, February 1, 2015

Book Review: You Are Not Alone by Leah Carey

by M. J. Joachim

Mixed emotions flooded me as I read this book claiming to be pro-woman. In many ways, You Are Not Alone absolutely does affirm women as valid human beings, which in my mind states the obvious. Of course we are valid human beings! Duh! The fallacy that we are not is the basis for the book, a book written by women who have been hurt and are in various stages of healing from the pain of deep wounds they carry, many of which were inflicted by men or in some cases, women who bought society’s line that women are second-class citizens.

I’m not buying it! People are people regardless of gender, race, creed, political party association or anything else. Rape is not an assault against women based on their sexuality. It is a power play that can happen to anyone. Sexual predators are sexual predators whether they are raping women or men, molesting children or using sex as a weapon in any other way, shape or form.

I’ve never believed women were powerless or the lesser sex, so I’m not comfortable with the premise of this book. This book is opinionated and, when taken as a whole, full of feminist propaganda which ultimately serves its own agenda. That’s part of why my emotions are so torn.

Yes, women deserve and should rightfully be treated with respect. Yes, they shouldn’t live in fear or be stereotyped as the lesser sex. Yes, they should value and appreciate their bodies. Yes, everyone in society should strive to treat women better in society. (We should also strive to treat men and children better, respecting everyone and treating everyone with equal dignity.) In a perfect world, but our world is not perfect.

I’ve never bought into the concept that entire groups of people are responsible for the ills of society, another fallacy clearly expressed in this book. Individuals are responsible for individual behavior, in my opinion, though I do believe in group-think mentality and realize that when people of like minds and behaviors get together, their message and actions can become undesirable and even harmful if not checked and balanced with appropriate measures. On the same token, I believe large groups of people can also work together to bring about phenomenal positive changes in our world.

It appears to me that this book was written not only by broken women, but also by a few bitter women who turned their pain into anger and resentment toward society. No one escapes being hurt in this life. It’s how we deal with our pain and wounds that defines us. So much of this book was spent explaining its mission to empower women, raise awareness about injustices against women and help women. I felt defeated as a woman when reading this book. I felt like we are living back in the stone ages, where women are still trying to overcome being objects and owned by men. I wanted to scream, “Look at us now, for crying out loud! Look at us now!”

This book defies its title and premise. It’s a book written with an agenda that clearly misses its stated objective. It’s a pity party on a mission to make men feel guilty and women live in the past. Yes, I believe in women, but this book does not promote them fairly in my opinion. It promotes a misguided notion that women have to fight to be who they are rightfully born to be, and that is a concept I find all too disturbing.

Thanks for visiting Writing Tips today. I do hope you’ll weigh in on this conversation in the comments.

M. J.

©2015 All Rights Reserved   Photo credit:  Oppression, Isabella Quintana, Public Domain